Roadside America

From a very young age I have been drawn to the strange, odd, macabre, and weird. Imagine that! I have always enjoyed Weird NJ, Ripley's and other fantastical publications. During my high school years at my super-tight-behaviorly-controlled religious school, I was 'caught' with a version of this magazine by a crusty english teacher. She expressed her 'deep concern' that I was reading something like this and pulled in the guidance counselor in to speak with me. Really. They wanted to know if I believed everything in the magazine. I told them that I wouldn't bother answering them. I knew if I said, 'yes', I was in for all manner of 'interventions' and if I said 'no' the line of questioning would be about why I would read it. Neither discussion was palatable to me. I am sure some number of demerits proceeded my silence.

Moving on to today, I still really enjoy things that are off the beaten path. One thing that provides me with a lot of fun is Roadside America. No matter where you live or are visiting, it is sure to list some 'roadside' attractions like The World's Tallest Water Tower, in Union, NJ, where I grew up. This app has proved to deliver all manner of interesting desitnations.

If you peruse it long enough, and visit some of the places, you are sure to find the following pictures where you will be able to find varying combinations of Costello children.

Giant Steel Hockey Player

Toll Booth Collector - Vintage Toll Booth

Mass Grave of WWI Ammo Plant Disaster

The Big Duck

There are more pictures, but I'll leave it to you to find them! Get out and go :)

“Look at me!
Look at me!
Look at me NOW!
It is fun to have fun
But you have to know how.”
―   Dr. Suess, The Cat in the Hat

Recent Ramblings

I really enjoy sharing the places we go. I hope you'll get out and go too!

As members of the Turtleback Zoo, we visit about once a month. We enjoy a few hours there and sometimes bring our lunch. There are plenty of animals to visit as well as a carousel and a play structure. The boys really like the reptile house and the train ride. I always enjoy the hilly walk and fresh air.

The largest exhibits are the gibbon enclosure, the brand new "Big Cats" display and the very impressive Wolf exhibit. There is a barn with all sort of 'farm' animals, an 'Outback Experience' with Australian animals, and an all-New Jersey section. Sea Lions are coming soon! We love it and I think you will also.

We paid a return visit to the Miller-Cory House (circa 1740) for their 'Sheep to Shawl' demonstration. We watched as several sheep were sheared the old-fashioned way with large, hand held shears. We vistited for a long time with the ladies in the house who were spinning yarn, knitting and using the loom to make cloth. The docents were very eager to share their craft with the kids and entertained questions.

Visit on some upcoming Sunday afternoon and you will most likey find the ladies there cooking over the open hearth in the outbuilding.

Another place we visited was a labyrinth, located in a private garden in Warren, NJ. We were invited by a mom who was kind enough to facilitate a few moments of meditative thought before we entered the maze. I did not expect the experience to be as meaningful and spiritual as it turned out to be.

The kids ran and played and wrestled while several moms shared their struggles and desires and ultimately encouraged each other. This walk peaked my interest in labyrinth walking and there are more in my future.

Another place we frequent is The Somerset Patriot's minor league baseball stadium in Bound Brook, NJ. Tickets are reasonably priced and the game is so kid friendly - there are even 'lawn seats' available where you can spread out and watch the game. Firework nights are our favorite.

That is where we've been lately. Where have you been?

Are Your Children at Grade Level?

Are your children at grade level?

It is a common question I get asked from family members, doctors, librarians, friends, and various adults my kids are exposed to. I think to myself - I hope not.

Let me explain. The inquirer usually means do I have a curriculum that is in step with the local public school and am I able to teach it to them in a way that produces a child who knows what those kids know. They want to know whether I am working hard to keep my kids within certain parameters. I am not interested in that for my kids and that is why my answer would still be - I hope not.

I purchased curriculum for Gavin for Kindergarten, 1st & 2nd Grades. He enjoyed them. In 2nd grade he blew through the Math and other portions and at times it seemed that I was having him do things just to 'get them done' or because it was 'what was next' or I 'thought he should'. Other parts of the program intersted him somewhat, but occassionally seemed rote. It took up a portion of our day and some days we scrapped it altogether to pursue other activities, books, classes and trips. I noticed that these other things were what yeilded the truest, most meaningful learning. We slowly morphed away from 'school' at home, to what I like to call "interest-led, life learning". We cover math and english, science and social studies, art and music, (need I say gym?!), spelling and vocabulary, current events - but it can't always be catagorized into neat, organized topics by 'grade level' in a linear, planned curriculum fashion. If you've read this blog at all, you can see that trips lead to books, books lead to documentaries, documentaries lead to classes, classes lead to projects and more books! It's all there, it's just not as neatly packaged.

Gavin was interested in Geometry in 3rd grade - tons of it. He was fascinated by it and pursued it up into higher 'grade levels'. But, he was not interested in the things that 2nd graders were 'supposed to be doing'. He got around to them eventually. If you tested him on measuring objects, he may not have been any good at it. At times, he has expressed interest in The Iditarod, The Oregon Trail, the human body, Egypt, electricity and China. We 'studied' these when he was interested, not when someone else told us to. He reads voraciously, and often shocks people with his selections. (I don't assign reading).It's just where his own time and talents lead him.

I re-used the same curriculum I bought for Gavin with Mikey. It became clear that he was struggling. Mikey has significant learning disabilities that make processing and recall very difficult. It takes Mikey many times longer to grasp certain concepts - but when he does - he has awesome 'a-ha' moments! There were other things that he grasped readily and easily and provided smooth sailing. Mikey does best with hands-on, experiential learning. The more he can see, touch, hear, and do, the better he does. I don't want Mike to have to be able to produce some skill simply because someone else says that he should, or else he can't move on, or he'll cause test scores to be too low. I don't want anyone implying that Mikey is 'behind' - you can only be behind if you compare yourself to someone else.  I want him to have all the time he needs to absorb information, processes at his speed and apply it to his experiences. I want him to do this in an environment that does not pressure him or make it clear that he is 'not keeping up'.

When kids are not developmentally ready for a certain skill, you can drag them through all the exercises you want, but you will not change where they are. (Could you have made your baby walk any earlier than they did? Did you look for 'remedial walking classes'?) Presenting concepts in alternative ways is important, but so is the child's innate developmental stage. It is something to be respected. It is perfectly acceptable to learn slower and differently than a large portion of the popluation! Schools will lead you to believe very differently.

We kept the boys home from school because we thought we could do better for them. By 'better', I mean slower, or faster or different. I mean pursuing what they are interested in for as long as they like. I mean allowing them the freedom to study what they like, as it surfaces in their world, not in a textbook. We homeschool because we don't believe you have to learn certain subjects, in a specified order, at certain times whether you enjoy it or not.

When you ask my kids 'what grade are you in?', they might give you funny looks or funny answers like, "I would be in 3rd Grade" because they just aren't in a grade. They are living and learning and the world is their classroom.

"Learning is not the product of teaching. Learning is the product of the activity of learners." ~ John Holt

11 - Throw Rocks

50 Dangerous Things You Should Let Your Children Do

Ethan's activity of choice since he could walk, and grab a rock in his chubby little hands, was to throw rocks. We gave him appropriate places to do it, his favorite being into a little stream behind my mother's house. He spent lots of time with my mom just throwing rocks as a little kid.

All my boys enjoy throwing rocks (is that like saying they all like candy?) I have gone places with the intention of allowing them to throw rocks into a stream or a pond only to have other mom's telling their kids repeatedly to 'put the rocks down'! My kids would shoot me a glance to see what I expected of them - go right ahead I would tell them.

  

I taught them very early on to throw rocks when there was nothing between them and the water - like other people! I also showed them when and where we would throw rocks and where we would not. I feel like because they had chances to do it when they wanted - they were willing to abstain when  I asked them to.

Let them throw rocks! It is fun and feels really good - go ahead, try it.

Dangerous? A little bit. The risks are mild if the parameters and settings are right. 

What we remember from childhood we remember forever - permanent ghosts, stamped, inked, imprinted, eternally seen. ~Cynthia Ozick

Something Stunk - and it wasn't the animals!

I took Sean and Mikey to the zoo today. When we arrived, there were 6 buses unloading and lots of schools already there. We were one of only several 'non-school' parties there and it was hard not to notice some things that were going on that I thought were really unfortunate.

Our first stop was waiting to ride the train. As we waited, the group behind us experienced some conflict between the children. A boy called a girl a name and she began to cry. The adult that was present in the party knelt down to the little girl and told her what she needs to do is ignore him. She sniffled an 'ok' in response. The adult said nothing to the boy who committed the infraction until a few minutes later when he did something else that I did not see. At this point, the woman who was obviously in charge told him that if he broke one more rule, they were all getting out of line and 'the whole group would pay because of him'. Really?!? So much for all the 'bullying' hype!

The group in front of us were probably Kindergarten age. They were having a difficult time waiting in the long line that had formed. The two women that were in charge of that group were deeply engrossed in a conversation about a vacation one of them had taken. The kids were getting understandably rowdy. I watched as opportunity after opportunity was lost to point out interesting surroundings to the kids, a nearby butterfly that had landed on a soda machine and a little creek filled with all sorts of things to look at. I played 'I spy' with Mikey and Sean while they told the kids if they didn't 'start behaving', there would be no more class trips. They never started 'behaving' and lots of 'stop its!' followed. Guess these kids managed to garner the attention they were trying to get.

In front of another exhibit my kids were sharing space with a religous preschool. We were there for several minutes during which the teacher was very loud and short tempered with the kids, used sarcasm, and did a lot of sighing and eye rolling. This lady was obviously at the end of her rope with these kids, and seemed in no way interested in hiding that from onlookers.

Another situation I noted was while walking along a path that housed many small animals and birds. The kids kept asking the teacher what the animals were. 'A hedgehog', she said. It was a porcupine. 'That's another hawk', she said. A turkey vulture. 'Some kind of cat', she said. Yeah, a Lynx. I don't know if I am much smarter than her, but I do know that I am a better reader, as the names were on the plaques near the cages.

This is a lot of incidents of really what I think is crappy interactions with small children in the span of two hours. Another factor that I find very interesting is that we were in a public place where anyone could witness these displays. Had I known any of these children, I would have been on the phone promptly with their parents. Everyone had on name tags or shirts with the names of the programs they were with.  Talk about terrible publicity.

It impacted our visit. I kept thinking - this is unbelievable and it stinks! Why do you think I was able to witness so many poor interactions in such a short span of time? I considered each of these scenarios to be easily to remedied.

As a mother, I understand frustration and running out of patience. I do. Should it be different for people who've been put in charge of other people's children? Am I overreacting?