12~12~12 and Random Acts of Kindness

There was a little bit of buzz in our house as to whether there was an interesting way to mark the last repetitive date we would see in our lifetimes. I know it doesn't sound like much, but we take any excuse to make a production. I had been coming up blank until I looked at our 'Things to Do' Board and saw 'Random Acts of Kindness Day' still hovering around undone. 

If you are good about volunteering or have a regular way of showing your kids how to give to others and put a little love out into the universe, you're doing better than me. I have not pinned down a regular way to volunteer myself or give that bug to my kids. It's a New Year's Resolution - yes, I make them (and of course, I break them). So I asked the boys over breakfast if they thought we could make 12-12-12 '12 Acts of Kindness Day'. They were a little hesitant, but when they thought up a contribution of there own, they are willing participants. 

We made a short list, gathered some supplies and headed of on our adventure. 

Our first task was some mail. We made index cards with inspirational quotes on them and folded them up in cards for mailing to random people from the phone book. The boys put 'This is a random act of kindness - Have a great day!' in each card. We talked about how someone could get a quote that speaks directly to them and take it as a sign. We sure hoped so. 

We then piled up some coloring the boys had been doing for colorasmile.org. The coloring pages are sent out to various agencies and distributed to people who might enjoy them. Many make their way into the hands of recipients of home meal distribution programs like Meals on Wheels.

We then moved on to the task the boys thought up. They wanted to put quarters in the vending machines at the thrift shop, turn the handles and leave the toys for unsuspecting kids - they thought that was just one of the best things that could happen to a kid!

We waited for quite some time to see if they could catch a glimpse of a kid doing it. Gavin's friend said, 'what's with all these well-behaved kids holding their mother's hands and not begging for toys!' We never got to see it, but we imagined later that it did.

We then made a run to collect and drop off food to the Somerset County Food Bank. We have been made aware several times lately that they are REALLY low on food, so that was something we could do. I armed them with the list the food bank provides and set them loose.

We visited our local library and brought cookies for our librarians who find us books on every subject imaginable and rescue our holds that should be sent back, but they give us a little extra time! We also left two envelopes with $2 each for the next two people that have fines.

The best part of the day was our lunch at A Better World Cafe. A neighbor who keeps me supplied with interesting tidbits clipped from the paper made me aware of it some time ago. I've always wanted to go, but now we had a good reason to get out and support such a valiant effort. I love the concepts behind the cafe. It is a multifaceted effort combined with Elijah's Promise. They not only provide excellent food in the cafe, but training for people who need it in the food service industry - They give a man a fish, AND teach them to fish!

The meals are all whole foods, local, seasonal and high quality. They believe everyone, regardless of budget, should have access to 'good food' - amen! It was a stark contrast to the processed, boxed items we had left at the food bank - which is necessary - but I wanted to point it out. The paying customers support the 'complimentary meal' of the day and 13% of the cafe's diners order the free meal.

We had an delicious lunch, supported this great cause, learned that we would love to go back and Chef Rachel generously spent several minutes telling the boys about the organization, explaining why cafes like this are so necessary.

The boys seemed to have a great time and got a lot out of spread a little love out into the world! I am telling you about our day, not to brag about the good we did, because I know lots of people that are doing it on a regular basis and so much more. I am inspired when I hear of others efforts and hope you will be too. I would like to make volunteering, donating, service to others and supporting charitable organizations part of our lives for myself so I will have the ability to pass on the habit to the boys. If you do something regularly I'd love to hear about it.

Service to others is the payment you make
for your space here on earth.
~ Mohammed Ali

More Disney - A Photo Montage of Magic Kingdom

Magic Kingdom was all everyone told us it would be. It was super-clean and every employee we encountered was pleasant and helpful. It was exciting to see the castle and characters and the general energy of the place is exciting. Our kids were not into the characters any more than waving and yelling 'there's Chip & Dale!'. They had very little interested in waiting in photo lines or getting autographs - which is a popular activity for kids, but that worked for our family.

We had our moments, but mostly - it really was magic!

All of our dreams can come true, 

if we have the courage to pursue them.

~Walt Disney

Polygamy or Cloning?

My kids each need their own mother. I think each of them could keep a mother busy, meeting their needs and addressing their issues on a full-time basis.

I mean, Sean's 3, right? His energy level and curiosity are competing for high scores. He would like for me to read to him for hours on end. His attention span is such that setting up the paint and the playdough sometimes seems to take longer than he enjoys them. He loves games and wants a competent player to compete with. He would like to visit the park everyday, usually when his brothers would prefer to be doing something else. Same with toddler time. He wants juice, Xbox, to bake cookies and for me to sing him a song - now! He's all needs...all the time. 

How about Mikey whose favorite mantra is 'what should I do now?'. He needs a cruise director extrordinaire. He likes focused attention, workbooks, and games. He can't find what he's looking for. He needs help picking out 3 good books for him to choose from.  He wants set up with music to listen to, books he can read, and projects he can work on. He wants Sean to not mess up what he's tying to do. Mikey needs lots of reminders, directions, lists and more reminders and to know where his favorite Star Wars guy is - now!

Gavin wakes up with questions about whether animals have souls or not. Did I hear about 'that guy' on the news? He wants to know what I know about the Gold Standard and the Federal Reserve and where he can find more information. Who else is running for president besides the usually suspects, what's for lunch, and do I want to play a game without Mikey & Sean? He needs documentaries about WWII and the rise of The Third Reich, and to know how long will it take me to decide if he can read The Killing of Osama Bin Laden. He wants to know where he can he find more cardboard and tape. Gavin loves to narrate entire conversations to a willing audience - me!

Ethan needs full time surveillence. He also needs a manager for all the chargers of his electronics. He wants AutaBuy to publish as a daily magazine and for me to find it - even if it means we stop at two 7-11s and several Quik Checks to find the right edition. We wants more Hot Wheels cars - now! He needs to download several songs and apps on an emergent basis. He needs to go to the store for one more coloring book and a Coke - you guessed it - now!

My kids are interesting, challenging and unique. But all four of them together are a force to be reckoned with. If I had to deal with each of them to the exclusion of their brothers - it might not be so bad - but right now their demands overwhelm me and I think I need a sister wife or a clone or three. Help! I'm sinking.

A Long Post About A Short Phone Call

Let me set the scene. Mikey and Gavin are gone with Dennis to a scout engagement with a hockey game to follow, Sean is sleeping and Ethan is happily entertained in the house. It's a pretty unique moment in time.

Although I usually go to every stinkin' things the boys do spectate most activities, I decided that I would stay home, clean out my garden, do some work in the yard, etc. So, with this knowledge I start to plan the next several hours. I should have known better. 

The phone rings and it's Dennis with a very simple request, 'can you please bring Mikey's hockey pants here, he forgot them.' Even as I type it, it sounds so simple. Almost nothing around here is simple. I ask what time it is and what time he needs the pants. I have 45 minutes to get hockey pants 5 minutes away.

Here's why it's not easy. 

Sean is asleep and waking him results in at least 20 minutes of truly pathetic crying and I pray that he will magically wake up before I have to resort to waking him.

I realize that if I drive Sean and Ethan to the park where the scouting event is, they will figure out it is an Ice Cream Social and will want stay and have ice cream - understandably. But I now have a dirt-streaked face and arms, pants that are cruddy, and my hands and nails look like I am a heavy machine operator. My hair is greasy and I stink. I know that I will have to get out of the car and know that I am going to have to clean myself up.

I inform Ethan that we need to bring Mikey his hockey pants and he informs me that he does not want to go by throwing a couple of empty DS Game boxes at me. Remember, one of Ethan's super-powers is his unrelenting negativity. I told him to quit the crap informed him that it was totally unacceptable to do that and to go get ready. He said no. 

Thank God, Sean woke up, but was no happier to hear that we were leaving the house as I had vehemently promised that he could play Wii as soon as he woke up. He screamed at me that I had lied to him let me know how disappointed he was. Please, Sean, get a shirt and some shoes. He said no.

Time is ticking and we are now down to 20 minutes. I raise my voice and plead with them to just get in the car. Then I realize that I have not yet located the pants and I could have just as easily left without them. Then, I turn to bribery. I told the two of them that if they would just get in the car, there would be ice cream. It had only a modest effect on them. But as I was putting the finishing touches on covering up just how dirty I was and locating the pants, I realized that they were waiting for me in the car. As I grab my keys and walk out the door I see that Sean is running around the back of our rental car (remember, we don't have our van) because his car seat as been relocated to Dennis' truck for my use. SH%&, D*&M, CR*P. Uh-oh. 

I call Dennis to tell him I don't have a car seat for Sean and he says, 'well, then, never mind, I'll try to get there.' I tell Ethan and Sean that we don't need to go after all and they both throw their own particular brand of temper tantrum in response to having their ice cream bribe rescinded. Clock is still ticking. 

I quickly form a plan to beg a car seat off of my neighbor and it works! I put the car seat in and away we go. I back out, make a left and proceed down our street. Then I call Dennis and ask him where the ice cream social is being held! Armed with all the info I need, and even the pants, I make it to our destination. Ethan had no socks (and that is just a bad look for him) Sean had no shoes and I was not pulling of my pseudo-clean routine too well.

Because I was already at the venue where the hockey game was, I had got to stay for that too. So much for my plans and so much for 'easy'.

“The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity.
The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”
— Winston Churchill

A Bevy of Boys

At a party this weekend I met a mom who introduced her three, young boys to me. She rolled her eyes and told me what I handful they were. 'I imagine that they are', I said, 'I have four of my own.' Then came the expected response - 'You have 4 boys!?' Funny, coming from a mom of 3 boys.

I personally know several families with more boys than me - one with 5 under 9 years old and a family with 7 beautiful boys with their 8th child being an angelic little girl! Sure, my boys are pretty unique - but they've got more!

 

The mom went on to tell me that lots of people ask her if she will try for a girl, to which she responds absolutely not - not worth the risk of ending up 4 boys ~ oh the horror! I experienced this conversation often when I was pregnant with Sean.

People often assumed that my pregnancy with Sean was an attempt to gain bit of pink in our sea of blue, as if my pregnancy with Sean was attempted ;) People would ask if I was hoping for a girl and then would quickly say, 'well, it doesn't really matter, as long as it's healthy.' 'Oh no, we bring them all home', I would reply. Talk about uncomfortable silence.

I was, in fact, hoping that Sean would be a girl. So much so that I cried at the ultrasound. The young, childless technician that did my ultrasound was appalled. I asked her if other people didn't also cry when the gender of their baby was not what they expected. She adamantly answered 'no'. Oh well, chalk another point up on my "Mother-of-the-Year" score card. 

 

 

But my wishing for a girl goes way back, back to even Ethan. I thought for sure he was a girl until while driving to the hospital holding my own medical records (in an emergency situation) I saw a line highlighted that said 'male gender noted'. When I was pregnant with Gavin, I just assumed that because I already had a boy, now I'd have a girl. I do know that it doesn't work that way, but remember, I was just hoping. Then I knew what to do - I called Social Services and told them that we would like to foster and adopt a little girl. I informed them that we already had two boys, so please bring a girl. Mom plans - God laughs - and blesses us with one more boy.

The boys also thought it would be nice to add a girl to our family. They also thought it was funny that he turned out to be yet another 'he'.  They told us how when he got older they would tell him that we hoped he was a girl. What a surprise when I told them that they could tell him, but the joke was really on them - because I had hoped that each of them would be a girl! They like this story and how they've showed up one by one and happily outnumbered me.

I am, indeed, happily outnumbered. I love having boys. It makes so much sense...now :) I really can't imagine it any other way. I must be an adrenaline junkie - the noise, the chaos, the dirt and the broken stuff - they are all in my skill set thanks to a bunch of Y chromosomes.

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me,

but I think she enjoyed it.
-- Mark Twain