A Long Post About A Short Phone Call

Let me set the scene. Mikey and Gavin are gone with Dennis to a scout engagement with a hockey game to follow, Sean is sleeping and Ethan is happily entertained in the house. It's a pretty unique moment in time.

Although I usually go to every stinkin' things the boys do spectate most activities, I decided that I would stay home, clean out my garden, do some work in the yard, etc. So, with this knowledge I start to plan the next several hours. I should have known better. 

The phone rings and it's Dennis with a very simple request, 'can you please bring Mikey's hockey pants here, he forgot them.' Even as I type it, it sounds so simple. Almost nothing around here is simple. I ask what time it is and what time he needs the pants. I have 45 minutes to get hockey pants 5 minutes away.

Here's why it's not easy. 

Sean is asleep and waking him results in at least 20 minutes of truly pathetic crying and I pray that he will magically wake up before I have to resort to waking him.

I realize that if I drive Sean and Ethan to the park where the scouting event is, they will figure out it is an Ice Cream Social and will want stay and have ice cream - understandably. But I now have a dirt-streaked face and arms, pants that are cruddy, and my hands and nails look like I am a heavy machine operator. My hair is greasy and I stink. I know that I will have to get out of the car and know that I am going to have to clean myself up.

I inform Ethan that we need to bring Mikey his hockey pants and he informs me that he does not want to go by throwing a couple of empty DS Game boxes at me. Remember, one of Ethan's super-powers is his unrelenting negativity. I told him to quit the crap informed him that it was totally unacceptable to do that and to go get ready. He said no. 

Thank God, Sean woke up, but was no happier to hear that we were leaving the house as I had vehemently promised that he could play Wii as soon as he woke up. He screamed at me that I had lied to him let me know how disappointed he was. Please, Sean, get a shirt and some shoes. He said no.

Time is ticking and we are now down to 20 minutes. I raise my voice and plead with them to just get in the car. Then I realize that I have not yet located the pants and I could have just as easily left without them. Then, I turn to bribery. I told the two of them that if they would just get in the car, there would be ice cream. It had only a modest effect on them. But as I was putting the finishing touches on covering up just how dirty I was and locating the pants, I realized that they were waiting for me in the car. As I grab my keys and walk out the door I see that Sean is running around the back of our rental car (remember, we don't have our van) because his car seat as been relocated to Dennis' truck for my use. SH%&, D*&M, CR*P. Uh-oh. 

I call Dennis to tell him I don't have a car seat for Sean and he says, 'well, then, never mind, I'll try to get there.' I tell Ethan and Sean that we don't need to go after all and they both throw their own particular brand of temper tantrum in response to having their ice cream bribe rescinded. Clock is still ticking. 

I quickly form a plan to beg a car seat off of my neighbor and it works! I put the car seat in and away we go. I back out, make a left and proceed down our street. Then I call Dennis and ask him where the ice cream social is being held! Armed with all the info I need, and even the pants, I make it to our destination. Ethan had no socks (and that is just a bad look for him) Sean had no shoes and I was not pulling of my pseudo-clean routine too well.

Because I was already at the venue where the hockey game was, I had got to stay for that too. So much for my plans and so much for 'easy'.

“The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity.
The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”
— Winston Churchill

Are Your Children at Grade Level?

Are your children at grade level?

It is a common question I get asked from family members, doctors, librarians, friends, and various adults my kids are exposed to. I think to myself - I hope not.

Let me explain. The inquirer usually means do I have a curriculum that is in step with the local public school and am I able to teach it to them in a way that produces a child who knows what those kids know. They want to know whether I am working hard to keep my kids within certain parameters. I am not interested in that for my kids and that is why my answer would still be - I hope not.

I purchased curriculum for Gavin for Kindergarten, 1st & 2nd Grades. He enjoyed them. In 2nd grade he blew through the Math and other portions and at times it seemed that I was having him do things just to 'get them done' or because it was 'what was next' or I 'thought he should'. Other parts of the program intersted him somewhat, but occassionally seemed rote. It took up a portion of our day and some days we scrapped it altogether to pursue other activities, books, classes and trips. I noticed that these other things were what yeilded the truest, most meaningful learning. We slowly morphed away from 'school' at home, to what I like to call "interest-led, life learning". We cover math and english, science and social studies, art and music, (need I say gym?!), spelling and vocabulary, current events - but it can't always be catagorized into neat, organized topics by 'grade level' in a linear, planned curriculum fashion. If you've read this blog at all, you can see that trips lead to books, books lead to documentaries, documentaries lead to classes, classes lead to projects and more books! It's all there, it's just not as neatly packaged.

Gavin was interested in Geometry in 3rd grade - tons of it. He was fascinated by it and pursued it up into higher 'grade levels'. But, he was not interested in the things that 2nd graders were 'supposed to be doing'. He got around to them eventually. If you tested him on measuring objects, he may not have been any good at it. At times, he has expressed interest in The Iditarod, The Oregon Trail, the human body, Egypt, electricity and China. We 'studied' these when he was interested, not when someone else told us to. He reads voraciously, and often shocks people with his selections. (I don't assign reading).It's just where his own time and talents lead him.

I re-used the same curriculum I bought for Gavin with Mikey. It became clear that he was struggling. Mikey has significant learning disabilities that make processing and recall very difficult. It takes Mikey many times longer to grasp certain concepts - but when he does - he has awesome 'a-ha' moments! There were other things that he grasped readily and easily and provided smooth sailing. Mikey does best with hands-on, experiential learning. The more he can see, touch, hear, and do, the better he does. I don't want Mike to have to be able to produce some skill simply because someone else says that he should, or else he can't move on, or he'll cause test scores to be too low. I don't want anyone implying that Mikey is 'behind' - you can only be behind if you compare yourself to someone else.  I want him to have all the time he needs to absorb information, processes at his speed and apply it to his experiences. I want him to do this in an environment that does not pressure him or make it clear that he is 'not keeping up'.

When kids are not developmentally ready for a certain skill, you can drag them through all the exercises you want, but you will not change where they are. (Could you have made your baby walk any earlier than they did? Did you look for 'remedial walking classes'?) Presenting concepts in alternative ways is important, but so is the child's innate developmental stage. It is something to be respected. It is perfectly acceptable to learn slower and differently than a large portion of the popluation! Schools will lead you to believe very differently.

We kept the boys home from school because we thought we could do better for them. By 'better', I mean slower, or faster or different. I mean pursuing what they are interested in for as long as they like. I mean allowing them the freedom to study what they like, as it surfaces in their world, not in a textbook. We homeschool because we don't believe you have to learn certain subjects, in a specified order, at certain times whether you enjoy it or not.

When you ask my kids 'what grade are you in?', they might give you funny looks or funny answers like, "I would be in 3rd Grade" because they just aren't in a grade. They are living and learning and the world is their classroom.

"Learning is not the product of teaching. Learning is the product of the activity of learners." ~ John Holt

My Apologies

Recently, my kids have made several apologies to me. "Sorry I was so snotty before, mom" and "I am sorry that lied to you, mom". They were genuine, unsolicited apologies. I think it's a really important skill and I am proud. I also know exactly where they got their example. Me.

I have some flaws that make parenting particularly hard. Patience is not my strong suit, and I have a quick temper. I have a bad habit of saying things in anger and have been known to yell. As I work on finding better ways to handle situations that cause me the most problems, I have decided that one of the things I can do when I respond to my kids in a way that I wish I hadn't is to apologize. When I realize what I've done, I take a minute to make a true apology. "I am sorry I lost my temper and yelled at you" or "It's not true that you never pick up your clothes, I exagerrated" and "I am sorry I said &*$%". I make a point of making eye contact, even asking for it, if necessary. I tell them I am sorry, and ask them to forgive me. They always say that I am forgiven. Sometimes it is a segway into deeper discussion about something more that is going on in our family and sometimes, it's just over. There are always hugs.

Funny as it sounds, I hope to make heart-felt apologies a Costello Family tradition.

Question #1

One of the questions I am frequently asked regarding homeschooling is "How do you know what to teach them?" It sounds like a simple question, but it really has alot of implications.

The question implies that, as a homeschooling parent, I am expected to teach my kids everything they are going to learn. In reality, they learn from lots of different people in multiple places. They attend various classes, events and lectures. They visit museums and science centers. They read. They watch various tv shows, movies, and documentaries. They learn from neighbors, friends, librarians, aunts, uncles, coaches and other kids and parents. As homeschool parents, Dennis and I view our role as the primary 'facilitators' to get them access to what they need and want to learn. I do not believe that I need to be able to teach them everything that they will ever learn (isn't that what youtube is for?!?), but to help them find the resources that enable them to learn. I also expect them to be able to find those resources for themselve in the coming years - just like Dennis and I when we want to acquire information.

This question may also mean how do I know when to teach them American History, introduce Algebra, study native americans or cover ocean life. There are many ways to accomplish this. There are many (probably thousands) of packaged curricula available that you could follow. Many are laid out comparably to how schools would cover those topics. We have used structured programs in the past. There is also a plethora of books that you could reference as to what your child might "need to know", if it were important to you to stay in step with children of similar ages that attend school.

We expose the boys to lots of people, places and things that prompt questions about and interest in Shakespeare, bees, geosolids, statistics, green anoles, pianos, trees, the human body, etc. and then get them books, activities, videos, websites, and museum exhibits about those topics. We find it is highly effective to teach them what they want to know, when they are actually interested. We are able to capitalize on their natural curiosity and interest in a subject. It is clear when they are done with a particular subject for the moment - and we move on the next!

One of the subjects people question how we will address is math. In our experience, the boys have been just as interested in math as anything else. We have not forced them to do specific lessons, and yet they have explored money, time, geometry, algebra, graphing, fractions, decimals, averages, addition, subtraction, mulitiplication and division, patterns, place value, the Pythagorean Theory, and much more. When they need to learn something we cannot teach them, we will help them find out where they can.


Questions #2

Hey! That's not learning!

Over the last two years, we have moved to a more relaxed, informal method of homeschooling for now. I say for now, because I never thought we would be here, so I expect that it is completely possible to need and desire another method at another time. Some days, it is very obvious to see what lessons are being learned and what activities have resulted in new information. Some days, it's surprising to see where it comes from.

I am learning that when I stand back, and become a spectator, and do not take personally the slights to things I have offered them, things I think they should be interested in, I can watch where they are headed with an activity and build on it. When I can take an interest in the things that interest them it builds relationship bonds, I can also help them expand on it from an 'educational' standpoint. I have assumed, maybe like many of you, that there are certain activities that have intrinsic, educational value, while other things are 'fun' or even 'a waste of time'. I have been reading articles and blog posts that challenge that concept. What if I viewed all their time as 'learning', each tv show, every trip to a store, car-conversations, playdates, role playing, legos, whittling, sibling arguments, dinner time, cub scouts, video games, fort building, etc. Each time watching for sparks that I can nurture and fan into fire. I expect some things will die quickly, but I believe that because their interest is so high in self-directed activities, chances are, there will be fires (literally and figuratively). A current obsession is NinjaGo. It is a lego game based around 'spinning Ninjas'. Could sound like nonsense, right? I found a book called Why Doesn't the Earth Fall Up? that discusses lots of topics the NinjaGos exhibit such as center of gravity, Newton's Laws, and centrifugal force in a humorous and fun way. I also found Forces Make Things Move that illustrates inertia, friction and gravity - all things "taught" by playing with the NinjaGos. Gavin has been using a stopwatch to time (train) his guys and recorded them on paper. He wanted to time them to the hundreth of a second - off to buy a new stopwatch. He then asked me how to work to calculate averages. I can assure you, if I tried to pull out a book and tell him we were going to learn about averages, he would not have been excited.

Mikey has been learning to navigate the website and doing tons of reading about rules and tips (all reading is good reading!). He has also been trying to copy the guys from the site (good practice for him in visual discrimination) and working with tiny objects (great for his fine motor). They have asked for help finding 'stop animation' software (the learned about and tried that at Liberty Science Center).

I will look for books, documentaries and museum exhibits about Ninjas and Japan. We'll see how long it lasts. It could fizzle very shortly (and has with other subjects), but I'll give them as much as they'll take. I love the concept that I don't have to fight against them, and I can trust that they want to learn and uncover how this world works.

Fric & Frac

People sometimes comment on how much Sean looks like Gavin. There is certainly a strong resemblance, but what I see when I look at Sean - is Ethan. Not only see, but hear and experience a child who is so much like his oldest brother.

Here they are - Ethan on the left and Sean on the right. Ethan weighed in at a hefty 4 lbs. 9 oz. and Sean at 4 lbs. 3 oz. They both came into the world under similar circumstances around 35 weeks. Sean mimicked his brothers terrible reflux.

But as these last two years have progressed, we have noticed so many mannerisms and personality traits that seem to have been passed down through some crazy genes. Is that funny when one of the kids being referenced has Down syndome? Anyhow. There is 14 (yep, count 'em) years between them and so many of the similarities have long faded from Ethan's repatoire, only to have been resurrected by Sean.

The inability to leave your socks and shoes on for more than 5 minutes, the request for lollipops at 8 in the morning, the love of cookies (but refusal of homemade in favor in Chips Ahoy, no kidding!) and goldfish crackers, insomnia, protesting the car seat to the point of exhaustion, and a total disdain for strollers. One of Ethan's gifts (or curses?) was the inate ability to know how every lock, handle, clip, buckle, and button worked. Enter, Seany, whose never met a mechanism he couldn't work on his first attempt. So adept at playground equipment, they gave other people heart palpitations. Any move of furniture, addition of decorations or a usually shut door being opened is cause for intense investigation.

They both have the ability to see humor in things that should be way over their heads. They both find themselves to be incredibly funny and entertaining. High energy, gregarious, engaging and communicative. Ethan could find a way to tell you any story about any obscure thought he might have had, even with all of his language impairments. Watching Sean use his hands and gestures as he tells a story brings me right back like I am looking at little E. They both sleep surrounded by too many books and both had special affinities for their pacifiers. At two, they both declared most foods "yucky". Gavin, at least, waited until 8 and Mike hasn't said it yet!

We called Gavin 'stoic-baby', he was a delightful kid, but did not share the strong inclinations of his brothers. Mikey was very compliant and very cute, but did not exhibit the strong preferences of the other two. They were so different from Ethan, that we thought much of who Ethan was must be related to him having Down syndrome. But, as it turns out, it was just who Ethan was at his very core. Sean has showed us that Ethan is who Ethan is, regardless of his extra chromosome. Ethan has showed us, that if this trend continues for Sean, we are in for a wild ride!

Socializing 101

One advantage of homeschooling are the interactions that can take place between kids of varying ages. Often times kids are engaged in the same activity or event with families who have kids ranging from infancy to the teen years. It strikes me that in certain other settings, there are many conversations that might never take place. I don't always know what they talk about, but glad they get the opportunity. Older kids are eager to pass on what they know, and younger ones seem eager to learn. Teaching someone something gives you further mastery of a skill and enhances communication skills - whether it's teaching someone a card game, giving skateboarding tips, or navigating an iPod. These interactions can happen so naturally and more commonly for homeschooled kids. I have also noticed that my boys do not think that "girls have cooties". No one has ever said, "what's she - your *girlfriend*?" No one has ever sang the "K-I-S-S-I-N-G" song when they are sitting alone with a girl. There is a genuine ease among them that I don't know could happen in other settings. Birthday invitations at our house have gone out to 2 year-olds and 18 year-olds for the same party. Boys and girls alike. People often have concerns about "socialization" for homeschoolers. I believe they are at a distinct advantage with less social contraints, seating charts, structure activity and more diversity of age and stage. Each report card that I brought home as a child reported "Janet socializes too much with her friends". I will never have to report that. Carry on, kids!

Gone to the Birds...& the stars

The boys attended a class at The Enviromental Education Center called "Wintertime Birds". They learned to focus binoculars properly and identify certain winter birds. They filled the bird feeders and listened to bird calls. They learned information about other winter animals, fur and winter animal behavior. At home, we set up some bird feeders and a bird watching station (no one has a bird at the feeders yet). We are also completing some activities on eNature.com.

We will be participating in The Great Backyard Bird Count - maybe you'll join us!

We also went to view "Wintertime Night Sky" at Raritan Valley Community College's Planetarium. It taught us how to look for 'asterisms' in the night sky. We got to see the sky at different times of night and it was really helpful - so helpful that we were able to come home and use our "Star Chart" and binoculars and actually find a bunch of stars we learned about - including Betelgeuse.

Sometimes kids just need a little exposure to something to get the wheels turning. Sometimes they don't care less what they've seen. Sometimes it comes up days and weeks later in them asking for another class or books on a topic. I don't see myself as my kids' teacher, I'm their mother - and I choose to spend my time introducing them to all that's out there.

"Learning can only happen when a child is interested. If he is not interested, it is like throwing marshmallows at his head and calling it eating." ~ Katrina Gutelben

Rewind

Gavin & Mikey turned 10 and 8 this week. Those seem like big numbers. And then we opened up the laptop and purused some old pictures. And shots like this...

made me want to rewind. I get this overwhelming feeling of their littleness and cuteness and I wonder, did I hold them and hug them enough, did I give them enough lollipops? Did I realize when they looked like this, that they looked like this? I can only imagine that this gets more pronounced over the years.

I enjoy where they are now and all the exciting activities and independance we are experiencing. I think there is a component of a mothering repetoire of being able to enjoy the moment and truly be present that I hadn't developed when these pictures were taken. I look at the photos and I wonder "did I get it?" Because I get it now. It all seems to be going a little too fast lately, and I think it's Seany's fault. Because 10 minutes ago he looked like this...

and now he looks like this.

I was eager for the other boys to grow quickly and develop new skills. Maybe I was a little too eager. Now that I know that feeling of wanting to rewind, all I want for Seany is for him to freeze, stop, and wait right there! I recognize that his his arms have a delicious layer of fat on them that will fade away sometime in the near future. I realize that when he runs it really does sound like "pitter patter". I know that words like "yight" instead of "light" will right themselves more quickly than I would like this time.

Sean is a messenger. His message is to pay attention, listen carefully and slow down. Having a toddler has certainly slowed us down. What I could have seen as an inconvenience years ago, is just a present circumstance, worthy of appreciation. We'll just walk a little slower and stop a little more often. In a few years, I will look back at the pictures I am taking now. I hope they invoke a little less "rewind" and litte more "glad I was there" because of where I am on my "mothering journey".

Now boyz...wait up!

Even my cookies are boys.

Probably the fish and lizards too! My house is boy-infested and testosterone-infused. I recently cleaned out the 'activity' closet and realized just how much stuff I had that they never touched and never will - girly, crafty stuff. Sure they paint, use the craft sticks, cut and paste, and even break out the stencils - but to think they are going to complete some intricate craft that requires reading directions, following them and sitting in one spot for a prolonged period of time - just not going to happen. I am sure there are girls that share similar traits, but I feel like my clan take boy stereotypes to a whole new level. (I kept a few things for 'visiting' girls.)

Conversations around here start like this "Mom, do you want to know how a combustion engine works...", "How long until I can get a BB gun?", "So 'n so is 'naked dancing' upstairs!" No one has EVER asked for an article of clothing or a pair of shoes and they think hand-me-downs are "awesome" because of what bigger boy may have worn them before them! The only toys that have stood the test of time in this house are matchbox cars, wooden blocks, Star Wars action figures and matches. Plastic army guys take over the house, fighting and wrestling are curtailed by the referee (I mean me) every 2 hours and legos are used as decor for our house.

I guess it's a good thing that I was always boy-crazy! I was somewhat of a tomboy who did not want to be outdone by the bunch of boys I hung out with as a preteen. I had a boys dirt bike (a mongoose, no less) and followed them into swamps to hunt turtles. They were camping and fishing masters who could whistle through their fingers and climb 10 foot chain link fences in a single bound. Little did I know the life-preparation going on in those days.

But seriously, Gavin is learning to cook, and Mikey to bake and they really enjoyed Little House on the Prairie books. But Gavin told me they were all about homesteading, farming, building and hunting anyway.

Do I make you nervous?

I have a reccuring issue that really aggravates me. There are mothers that come up to me, unsolicited, and give me advice. I kid you not, when I say it is a weekly event for me. You are probably wondering what I could possibly be doing to garner this much attention. Exhibit 1

I am walking in some outdoor venue (beach, amusement park, park) with my boys. Ethan is totally bald and has been for many years. A mother or a grandma approaches and says, "You really need to be careful with his head, it is very sunny out here! Do you sunscreen him?" This has happened on *multiple* occassions.

Proposed Answers:

1. Yes, thank you. 2. No, maybe you could.

3. That's what the ER said last time.

Exhibit 2

I take my boys somewhere and they decide to *play with sticks*, *walk along a high brick wall*, *continue to climb up and roll down a steep embankment*, *you pick any number of 'dangerous' testosterone-enduced activities* and one or more mothers will inform me 'that it's very dangerous' or 'someone is going to get hurt'.

Purposed responses:

1. Yes, thank you 2. I sure hope so - brats!

3. Child Protective Services reminded me that the last visit.

Exhibit 3

My agile, super-coordinated 2 year-old is playing on the play-structure at the park. He navigates the stairs, walks over the bouncy little bridge, and makes his way down the slide. Some mother will inform me that he is too little to be doing that, he could fall at any moment, or the slide is tricky, etc.

Proposed responses:

1. Yes, thank you

2. That'll teach 'em. 3. The pediatrician said that too - but they also said he "HAD" to be in a carseat!

Recently, at the waterpark, a lifeguard informed a panicking mother that she had been watching my 2 year-old for 1/2 hour competantly complete a flight of stairs and navigate the waterslides perfectly fine. The other mom continued to be extremely nervous around him - she did have her own 2 year-old to worry about - but for some reason felt the need to continue to fret over mine.

I have had a mom untie a sweatshirt from around my sons waist, hand it to him and tell him it could get stuck in the chain of his bike. (I was at the park, just too far away to get her hands off my kid) My boys have been yelled at for playing in leaf piles on our street "because there are sticks in there that could poke you in the eye". I have been approached and informed that my boys were walking in a stream. When I told the mom that we came to the park so that they could do just that, she informed me that "we've all told our kids to stay out of it". My kids often come back to me at a park and say that some other mom has told them they can't *climb that tree*, *throw rocks in the river*, *play in that dirt pile* after I have sent them off to do it.

Can you give me any insight into this? If you've done this to someone - let me know why. I think the next time it happens, 10..9...8..., I will politely ask what makes someone do this - do you think that will go well?

My son has a sister

It's complicated. Mikey and his sister were split up while in foster care, and that's a story for another day. As it stands, my goal is to have The Girlie at our house at least once a month. We have gone long stretches without seeing her and it feels better for everyone when the relationship is more consistent. She refers to me as Auntie or Auntie Janet (and Uncle Dennis). She calls the woman who she has lived with since she was 4, Nana, which fits her perfectly. When she refers to her mother it means her biological mother with whom she still has contact - told you it's complicated.

Gavin wants to know what The Girlie's relationship is to him. I told him that he gets to pick how he would like to refer to her because it is so unique. The Girlie comes to visit and exhibits her maternal attachment to Mikey which can cause Gavin a little stress - he likes to be the boss of Mikey! But for the most part, it is a pleasant time for everyone.

It makes me feel good knowing that I can help Mikey and his sister maintain a relationship. I know that it is not optimal to be raised apart, but we can only work with what we have...

...and what we have is a good thing.

3 lb. 13 oz.

That's how much Sean weighed the day we brought him home. People kept asking me if I was afraid that he was so tiny & fragile. I wasn't. He ate well, slept great, and did everything he was supposed to - just on teeny, tiny scale. He pretty much looked like this for the first two months. Then he became a 'newborn' and no longer seemed like a 'preemie'. That is the nice way to put it - I called it 'fetal monkey' stage - and I still thought he was cute. We went about the business of figuring out how to manage 4 boys and fit this infant into our lives. No problem - Sean fit perfectly into place and he has been a complete pleasure and joy to all of us.

He is the gift I didn't know we were waiting for.

Happy Birthday, 2 year-old!

Setting fires

So what do you do when you have a kid who is really interested in fire (no, I'm not going to use the "P" word)? That topic came up for Dennis and I this summer when Gavin was really insistent on using matches. After a few pointers and ground rules like when and where and what to do in an emergency, he was on his own. It led to some discussions about what can go wrong when kids decided to play with matches and/or fires in other settings. Dennis and I feel like giving him the ability to do something he really wants to do in a planned setting was a good choice for him. We also felt like putting a big, red X on it would have promoted clandestine activities. We've seen that happen in our house before (ahem, Ethan!) and the results were not pretty. He seems to have gotten past his interest in fire. Two down...two to go.

The Apprentice

Gavin has been interested for some time in understanding what a landscape architect does. Dennis knew that one of the dad's we are acquainted with through the hockey league ran his own landscape architecture/landscape construction firm and asked this dad if there would be a job that Gavin could come see sometime. I though the best I could hope for him was that Mr. Dad might tell us we could swing by a local job he had. Dennis recieved an early morning phone call from Mr. Dad on Monday asking if Gavin would like to spend the day with him. Gavin could not get dressed fast enough and left with an apple in his pocket and a wallet full of lunch money. I was very surprised that this man would choose to spend the entire day chatting it up with my 9 year-old. He knew Gavin from around the hockey rink and playing a season of hockey with his daughter - but still, I think it's a far cry to decide to take your time out and spend it with a kid you hardly know. I thought it was incredibly nice. Mr. Dad mentioned something about South Jersey and some nurseries on the way down the front steps! All I know is that my boy came home all beaming face and tired body in a dump truck around 4 p.m. Mr. Dad did not seem too worn out by what I know can be Gavin's unending flurry of questions. He said Gavin "was great". They both seemed truly happy. As far as I know, they spent hours in the truck, looked at some $1,000 evergreens, visited nurseries, and "scoped out" some other work. I have been getting little drips and drabs of info over the past couple days. Here is what I know so far: ~ There is John Deere Green and Catepillar Yellow. ~ Catepillar makes Peterbuilt engines. ~ Mr. Dad's mom encouraged him to continue in college when he wanted to drop out and he discovered architecture. ~ Gavin has been sketching things on grid paper using rulers, protractors and french curves since Monday evening. ~ Gavin has explained to me *exactly* how a combustion engine works and what is meant by a "4 stroke engine". I don't think I get it entirely. ~ Bulldogs mean Mack. ~ The dump truck he rode home is was 13 tons - a ton is 2,000 lbs. (thanks) ~ Mr. Dad has a small engine plane pilots license. People often ask me if I am worried about my kid's social skills since we are homeschooling. I am not. I watched Gavin leave today with a dad he had never had a full conversation with, and somehow come home with stories that are taking days to recount. You would have thought he had just returned from a great play-date they way he has carried on. I guess he did.