A Personal Ad for Mikey

9 year-old, homeschooled hooligan, looking for fun! All playmates welcomed - 2 year-old boys, 5 year-old girls, a pack of wild 10 year-olds, or teenagers he can run after - Mike can and will play with anyone willing. Friends must move fast - Mikey never walks, he runs. Mikey enjoys cooking and cleaning (really!), eating and making messes. Mikey can ski, skate, and ride anything with wheels. He usually lands on his feet. Mikey likes dance music, christian music, silly songs, country music, rock, pop, classical music. He can eat his own weight in food, and say he's hungry an hour later. He is ridiculously photogenic...

See? He is a real 'family man' and a generous and caring brother. He has his very own sister. Mikey has honed the skill of pretending not to hear us - we have honed the skill of ignoring his act ;) Mikey loves video games and is armed to the teeth in Nerf guns. He is loud and funny and today...

He is 9! Happy Birthday, Mikey

30 Day Mommy Challenge - Days 4, 5 & 6

Welcome to my log of the 30 Day Mommy Challenge created by Sigrid over at The Joyful Mother.

Days 1, 2 & 3

Day 4 was to 'create one family ritual today'. It took me the whole day to think of something I'd like to see incorporated into our days, something meaningful, something I did not just pick out because I had to pick something. I decided on meal time blessings. It has been a while since we said 'grace' or blessed our meals together. Hectic-ness, people eating at different times and in different spaces just changed things. But I'd love to see us take that time again, a little pause before meals, to be thankful. I used several internet resources to get short, meaningful, poetic prayers, including many drawn from a scouting reference.

I printed them up on 4x6 index card so that we can read, memorize and use these to punctuate our day with thanksgiving and reflection.

Day 5 was to remind yourself, when your kids 'push your buttons' (if you don't know what that means, maybe you don't need the Mommy Challenge!) that they are just kids.

Again, I used my inner arm to note that.

I was really proud of myself, it was going so well - until dinnertime. Mikey & Gavin sat at the island eating, and laughing hysterically - at nothing! They were carrying on so much that I wanted to knock their heads together and scream "stop it!" So I paused for a few moments and thought about what they were doing. It was annoying, it was beyond silly, it was unnecessay - but it really was harmless and quite frankly - "they are only kids". I refrained, and it passed in about 4 minutes. I don't think the particular incident held any significance, but the practice of being able to stand back and assess the situation was what was important. One situation, on one day of the challenge is not what is going to change me. It will be practicing this each time I feel that 'cut it out!' feeling emerging.

Day 6 asked me to be truly present when interacting with my children. It required turning away from my 'doing' and start 'being'. I thought I was very good at this. But as I noted throughout the day, what I am really good at is pretending/looking like I am attending to them. One time Gavin came to me to tell about winning Halo and providing me with a long narrative of the ending. I realized that I was still washing dishes, nodding and affiming, but not really listening. I dried my hands, and tried it Sigrid's way. I made eye contact (ever wonder why kids' eye contact is lacking - maybe we are setting really bad examples - take note of that in your day) and listened to what he was really saying. It made a difference in that moment and challenged my habits. There were many more incidents, including stopping my 'doing' altogether. Instead of setting Sean up with his toys only to go back to 'my' stuff, I stayed and played. It was time well-spent.

Upcoming challenges involve Love, Intuition, and Negativity.

The Joyful Mother - 30 Day Mommy Challenge

I picked up a few days late on The 30 Day Mommy Challenge, but I was up for it! When I read through the challenge I thought, "these are the important things, this is what matters!"

It was Day 3 when I started, so a I grabbed a Sharpie and jotted down inside my forearm, 'Yelling', 'Watching', 'Playing' based on the first three days' challenges.

I have a history of going in cycles of raising my voice and yelling at my kids. I live with a lot of cognitive dissonance in regards to that. I grew up with a lot of yelling, and did not consider until well into my 30s that 'yelling' is not only not effective, it damages relationships and becomes *extrememly* habitual. I hate it, and yet I engage in it. Yuck. I don't yell everyday, and some days and weeks are better than other. I am getting to the point where I can feel the feeling that causes most of my distress creeping up (insight) and am able to make other decisions. Even when I feel like I've failed, I know that I am making changes, and I always make apologies to my children. But, having that concreate (or Sharpie marker) reminder that it was NOT what I was going to do that day was great! It also let me know that a little mindfulness goes a long way.

I 'watched' many interactions with my kids and them with each other without intervening. I 'watched' how bickering started, how snotty answers were formed, how impatience grew. It was interesting and informative to be a 'spectator'. It was then that I realized that point of this 30 Day Challenge. I realized that these were not things I could forget about tomorrow when the next challenge came up - I wanted to keep doing them! The list on my arm is getting longer!!

'Playing' is usually my forte. I play alot with my kids. Board games, video games (I am even trying to learn to play Halo) and I usually particpate in anything they are willing to do. I made time to sit with Sean and play a new game he got for Christmas. I admit I started the game thinking it was something that I 'should' do, but ended wanting to play with him again - are you catching on to the point of this challenge?

Each day of the challenge highlights a habit or behavior. But, I have realized it is not just 'No Yelling' on Day 1, or only 'Playing' on Day 3, and whatever comes next, these are things to be added to our daily ritual. I might be needing a new tattoo.

Next up - Adding a family tradition or ritual and remembering,

they're only kids!



11 Things You Should Know About Gavin

1. Gavin was such a predictable baby, my sister and Just Jewelry Girl referred to him as 'textbook baby'.

2. Gavin could draw parallels between real life and Star Wars by the time he was three. He also still had his pacifier.

3. Gavin does not enjoy any activity that requires the use of an alarm clock.

4. Gavin is a good sport and a great cub scout.

5. When Gavin grows up, he wants to be a teenager. He also says he wants to be some type of engineer when he grows up. (after his stint as a 'teenager')

6. Gavin loves reading and is passionate about his books. Gavin loves video gaming and is passionate about his games.

7. Gavin inherited his parents' quick temper.

8. Gavin is a *very* good brother.

9. Gavin is a picky eater, often critiquing what I cook.

10. Gavin enjoys skateboarding, roller hockey, hiking, and camping. He loves math.

11. Gavin is full of factoids about The World's Largest blah, blah, blah. Gavin seems to absord information from the air around him.

Gavin is 11 today - and is a blessing to our whole family!

Happy Holiday Happenings

I dislike preparing for the holidays. I dislike the shopping, christmas carols played too early, too loud and too often (thanks, Ethan) and the general pressure added to the time of year. Dennis has dubbed me the Grinch - but it's not true. I don't enjoy prep - but I enjoy participation.

Both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were low-key events, enjoyed by the whole family.

One of the things that has made this holiday particularly delightful is my Aunt Liz. I grew up without any blood relatives in this country. Although I am very grateful that we have always had close friends and psuedo-family, with which to celebrate, my Aunt Liz is my father's only sister. What's more, my father died when I was 8, so to have someone so closely related to him nearby is a remarkably comforting feeling. Aunt Liz is easy to entertain, loves to walk, enjoys the kids and compliments all my meals. See why I love her?! She brought a lovely friend, as well. Young, exuberant, and fun-loving, Dorothy is a pleasure.

Now take a deep breath and try to stay with me!

The Miss New Jersey...

took us to see Lovely, Lady Liberty.

Mikey's sister paid us a visit. It's too bad they don't look anything alike!

New Year's Eve was a Rockefeller Center-visiting, Radio City Rocketts-watching (no flash photgraphy, please!), ice cream ball rolling, midnight-swingset-climbing, firework-watching, horn-blowing, sparkler-waving night! 

New Year's Day was heralded by a noonish, champagne brunch. Really now - it's just sparkling cider except for that bottle of brandy you see on the table that was mistakenly put there by Ethan and quickly returned by Dennis ;)

A little science at LSC was thrown in for good measure.

Happy New Year, Eveyone!

And please, try to keep up with us ;)