Thursday, May 5, 2011

My Apologies

Recently, my kids have made several apologies to me. "Sorry I was so snotty before, mom" and "I am sorry that lied to you, mom". They were genuine, unsolicited apologies. I think it's a really important skill and I am proud. I also know exactly where they got their example. Me.

I have some flaws that make parenting particularly hard. Patience is not my strong suit, and I have a quick temper. I have a bad habit of saying things in anger and have been known to yell. As I work on finding better ways to handle situations that cause me the most problems, I have decided that one of the things I can do when I respond to my kids in a way that I wish I hadn't is to apologize. When I realize what I've done, I take a minute to make a true apology. "I am sorry I lost my temper and yelled at you" or "It's not true that you never pick up your clothes, I exagerrated" and "I am sorry I said &*$%". I make a point of making eye contact, even asking for it, if necessary. I tell them I am sorry, and ask them to forgive me. They always say that I am forgiven. Sometimes it is a segway into deeper discussion about something more that is going on in our family and sometimes, it's just over. There are always hugs.

Funny as it sounds, I hope to make heart-felt apologies a Costello Family tradition.

1 comment:

  1. Hi there! I'm a Canadian homeschooling mom of four boys. :) I just found your blog through Weird, Unsocialized Homeschoolers. I have to say, this post resonated with me. I have the same flaws but the same apology habits. It was so great to find your post and read exactly what my day was like today. :)