The Joyful Mother - 30 Day Mommy Challenge

I picked up a few days late on The 30 Day Mommy Challenge, but I was up for it! When I read through the challenge I thought, "these are the important things, this is what matters!"

It was Day 3 when I started, so a I grabbed a Sharpie and jotted down inside my forearm, 'Yelling', 'Watching', 'Playing' based on the first three days' challenges.

I have a history of going in cycles of raising my voice and yelling at my kids. I live with a lot of cognitive dissonance in regards to that. I grew up with a lot of yelling, and did not consider until well into my 30s that 'yelling' is not only not effective, it damages relationships and becomes *extrememly* habitual. I hate it, and yet I engage in it. Yuck. I don't yell everyday, and some days and weeks are better than other. I am getting to the point where I can feel the feeling that causes most of my distress creeping up (insight) and am able to make other decisions. Even when I feel like I've failed, I know that I am making changes, and I always make apologies to my children. But, having that concreate (or Sharpie marker) reminder that it was NOT what I was going to do that day was great! It also let me know that a little mindfulness goes a long way.

I 'watched' many interactions with my kids and them with each other without intervening. I 'watched' how bickering started, how snotty answers were formed, how impatience grew. It was interesting and informative to be a 'spectator'. It was then that I realized that point of this 30 Day Challenge. I realized that these were not things I could forget about tomorrow when the next challenge came up - I wanted to keep doing them! The list on my arm is getting longer!!

'Playing' is usually my forte. I play alot with my kids. Board games, video games (I am even trying to learn to play Halo) and I usually particpate in anything they are willing to do. I made time to sit with Sean and play a new game he got for Christmas. I admit I started the game thinking it was something that I 'should' do, but ended wanting to play with him again - are you catching on to the point of this challenge?

Each day of the challenge highlights a habit or behavior. But, I have realized it is not just 'No Yelling' on Day 1, or only 'Playing' on Day 3, and whatever comes next, these are things to be added to our daily ritual. I might be needing a new tattoo.

Next up - Adding a family tradition or ritual and remembering,

they're only kids!



11 Things You Should Know About Gavin

1. Gavin was such a predictable baby, my sister and Just Jewelry Girl referred to him as 'textbook baby'.

2. Gavin could draw parallels between real life and Star Wars by the time he was three. He also still had his pacifier.

3. Gavin does not enjoy any activity that requires the use of an alarm clock.

4. Gavin is a good sport and a great cub scout.

5. When Gavin grows up, he wants to be a teenager. He also says he wants to be some type of engineer when he grows up. (after his stint as a 'teenager')

6. Gavin loves reading and is passionate about his books. Gavin loves video gaming and is passionate about his games.

7. Gavin inherited his parents' quick temper.

8. Gavin is a *very* good brother.

9. Gavin is a picky eater, often critiquing what I cook.

10. Gavin enjoys skateboarding, roller hockey, hiking, and camping. He loves math.

11. Gavin is full of factoids about The World's Largest blah, blah, blah. Gavin seems to absord information from the air around him.

Gavin is 11 today - and is a blessing to our whole family!

Happy Holiday Happenings

I dislike preparing for the holidays. I dislike the shopping, christmas carols played too early, too loud and too often (thanks, Ethan) and the general pressure added to the time of year. Dennis has dubbed me the Grinch - but it's not true. I don't enjoy prep - but I enjoy participation.

Both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were low-key events, enjoyed by the whole family.

One of the things that has made this holiday particularly delightful is my Aunt Liz. I grew up without any blood relatives in this country. Although I am very grateful that we have always had close friends and psuedo-family, with which to celebrate, my Aunt Liz is my father's only sister. What's more, my father died when I was 8, so to have someone so closely related to him nearby is a remarkably comforting feeling. Aunt Liz is easy to entertain, loves to walk, enjoys the kids and compliments all my meals. See why I love her?! She brought a lovely friend, as well. Young, exuberant, and fun-loving, Dorothy is a pleasure.

Now take a deep breath and try to stay with me!

The Miss New Jersey...

took us to see Lovely, Lady Liberty.

Mikey's sister paid us a visit. It's too bad they don't look anything alike!

New Year's Eve was a Rockefeller Center-visiting, Radio City Rocketts-watching (no flash photgraphy, please!), ice cream ball rolling, midnight-swingset-climbing, firework-watching, horn-blowing, sparkler-waving night! 

New Year's Day was heralded by a noonish, champagne brunch. Really now - it's just sparkling cider except for that bottle of brandy you see on the table that was mistakenly put there by Ethan and quickly returned by Dennis ;)

A little science at LSC was thrown in for good measure.

Happy New Year, Eveyone!

And please, try to keep up with us ;)



Winter Solstice

We were invited to celebrate the Winter Solstice by a friend, this year. We have never marked winter solstice with participation in any ritual, but I don't think I'd want to miss it again. It is a really beautiful way to get in touch with creation/nature and pause to think about the upcoming season and what you would like to see fill that time. Marking solstice has pagan roots (as does bringing a live tree into your living room!) but is truly an ecumenical concept. The Winter Solstice is the longest or 'darkest' night of the year. Historically it was a gathering in which people comforted one another with food and music and 'called back' the sun to give them longer days.

Whatever you believe, nature has a way of bringing that all together. I believe in God, and was able to connect this clearly with my belief system.

There were kids of every age, beautiful, seasonal decorations, and a bounty of food.

The fire was central to the celebration - remember, we were calling back the sun!

Our friend, Jane Ann, lead us in a ceremony of releasing fears and singing.

The best part of the night was the drum circle.

I really enjoyed marking the season this way. It helped me take some moments to pause, pray and as always when Jane Ann is involved - play.

After this 'longest night', the next day, the boys attended a Winter Solstice class informing them of all the attributes of the forests this time of year and take a winter hike with friends.

I learned that although the solstice marks the first day of winter, the earth has made that turn that starts bringing longer days and that means we are headed - straight for Spring! Happy Solstice, everyone.

Elf Yourself